When a texting typo almost makes sense

A: Wanna go out for some breakfast?

B: Yes. Breakfast sounds pretty food right about now.

An IM conversation with my boss

Her: What kind of cell phone do you have?
Me: Some kind of Samsung flip.
Her: Is it old?
Me: Yeah. I’ve had it since 2004.
Her: Do you want a Blackberry?
Me: Which model?
Her: It’s the Bold 9700.
Me: I was kidding. Hell yes I do.
Her: [smiley] I was about to tell you to continue having fun with the Samsung.

QUOTE
“ We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth. … He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?” I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange. ”
— This interview with Bronson Pinchot is full of win. (via katiebakes) (via jaimeleigh)

Oh hi, Ford. How you doin’? Oh, good, good. Glad to hear it. Hey remember about 60 months ago when I bought that car from you? Yeah that was an exciting day. I wasn’t looking forward to the $415 payment each month, but I was excited for the new car. In fact I still have it. I’ve had to replace the tires and brakes and stuff, oh and the tie rod. That sucked. But other than that, I’ve been completely satisfied with the purchase. It’s been a good, solid car. But the best part? Get this. I just made my last payment on that sonofabitch. Yeah, the motherfucker’s mine now. I know, right? No I don’t want to trade it in. Are you crazy? I’m gonna enjoy this for a while. No, leave me alone. Go away. No I don’t want to upgrade. Let go of me.

PHOTO
(via bunkercomplex)
My Blue Heaven auto-reblog:What the frig is the address here?How the hell should I know? Number 1 Happy St

(via bunkercomplex)

My Blue Heaven auto-reblog:

What the frig is the address here?
How the hell should I know? Number 1 Happy St