So I think I finally got a pretty decent workout schedule down. So far it’s really been working out well for me. Monday through Friday are my rest days, then Saturday and Sunday I cram it all in. Of course I’ve been busy on the weekends recently, so I haven’t exactly been able to keep up with the program. But starting some time in the summer, I hope to be pretty consistent with it. And if not the summer, then definitely the fall when the weather gets a bit cooler. I’m not working out in the heat. Hell no. No sense killing myself.
I’ll keep you all posted with my progress.
I just sent a gmail chat message to a friend of mine that said “oh man, did you hear the news?!?!?!?!” He responded back with “no, what?” Then I logged off.
If you’re as bored as I am today, feel free to do the same to one of your contacts.
I see that Lauren Conrad is trending #1 on yahoo’s homepage. This comes one day after I sorta kinda referenced being Team Kristin, so of course I had to click to find out why she was trending. Apparently she’s in the news because she dyed her hair pink. Or something. Sometimes I hate you, America.
Team LC? Please. She’s a complete B and always will be. I hate that stupid face she makes. You know the one I’m talking about. She’s probably making it right now because she always has it. Because she’s stupid. I’m totes Team Kristin, obvs. Her and Jay will make great parents. Go Bears!
Oh shit, it’s only 1:08. What the hell was I dreaming about? I have a feeling this is going to be one of those nights where I lie here in bed for a few hours thinking about stuff for no reason. Why is my mind racing? Is this an anxiety attack? My head is spinning. I have to wake up early and put gas in my car. Why didn’t I do it on my way home from work yesterday? Between that and the snow, there’s no way I’ll make it to work on time. I wish I could go back in time and stop for gas on my home. That wouldn’t be very good use of a time machine though. If I could go back in time, I would go back and do something better than just get gas. Write down some lotto numbers maybe. Damnit, I’m wide awake. Seriously, why is my head spinning? If I fall asleep right now, I will get 7 hours of sleep total. But will that count if I woke up in the middle of it? I don’t think my sleep feels the same the next morning if there were interruptions. Like 4 hours and 4 hours doesn’t feel the same as 8 consecutive hours. It’s a bit ironic that I can’t sleep tonight since I know I have a busy day tomorrow. Yesterday I didn’t have shit but I slept fine. Is that irony? Maybe not. I’m at the point now where I never know what irony is. I used to think I did. But then I looked up the actual definition of it and now I don’t think I do. Maybe Alanis had it right after all. And who cares even if she didn’t? It’s still a good song. She took way too much shit for that. There’s also no way Ethan Hawke would have been able to quote the definition of “irony” right on the spot like that.
Damnit, it’s only 1:09. I’m so screwed.
- If Lexus wanted to capture a real moment between two spouses at Christmas, the recipient of the Lexus would have been all “holy shit, how could you spend that kind of money without talking to me first? And how much extra did you pay for that fucking big red bow that will piss off the garbage man?” Then they’d spend the rest of the commercial arguing over if they can afford the payment right now and whether or not they should return it. Merry Christmas.
- I was going to try out a new pasta sauce recipe, but I ran out of thyme.
- Hmmm, yeah sorry about that one. Let’s keep going.
- It’s funny how this struggling economy I keep hearing about hasn’t impacted the parking spot I always seem to get 2 miles away from the mall.
- Who was the guy who decided that billpay checks should look like junk mail? And was he just trying to be funny? “Hey, check it out. I made their billpay check look like junk. I bet it gets thrown away. I’m a bad person.”
- If you’re a guy and you use the words “man cave”, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be your friend. I’m making a snap judgment right now based on that alone. Also, you don’t have a man cave. You have a room in a dark corner of the house that has a television in it that you get to hang out in sometimes. So stop saying man cave. And stop inviting me over to hang out in it. Your beer is warm and I don’t like you.
Happy New Year, Tumblr!!!
During lunch today, I think I got the best haircut I’ve ever had. That might not be the best way to describe it since every one of my previous haircuts have ranged from “I look like Lloyd Christmas” to “I guess it could be worse”. But now I am officially re-calibrating my haircut scale to top out at “Not bad. (/turns head side to side). Really not bad”.
Big day for me.
If I were Ben Roethlisberger, I would kill myself.
If I were friends with Ben Roethlisberger, I would kill myself.
If I knew Ben Roethlisberger on a personal level, I would kill myself.
If I found myself not wanting to kill myself after either being Ben Roethlisberger, being friends with Ben Roethlisberger, or knowing Ben Roethlisberger on a personal level, I would kill myself.
In conclusion, I hate Ben Roethlisberger.
h/t Deadspin on the pic
Her: Can you stop at 7-11 and pick up a case of beer on your way home?
Me: One case of beer, coming up.
Her: You know what, make it a 12 pack. We’ll go to the grocery store tomorrow.
Me: One 12 pack, coming up.
Her: Actually, never mind. We’re good. Just come home.
Me: No beer then?
Her: Well…no just come home. Or whatever. What do you think?
Me: I think I’m hanging up now.
This New Years Eve, you have my permission to be that guy or gal at your party who screams out “FIVE MORE MINUTES!!!” at 11:55pm. So do it loud, and do it proud.
Pssst, you do not have permission to yell it early for laughs like at 11 or something. That’s MY thing. And I’m not giving it up yet.
Him: Want a Coke? I’m buyin’.
Me: Sure. Thanks.
1 minute later
Him: Sorry, all they had was Pepsi.
Me: Oh that’s ok. Thanks Man.
Him: Any time.
Let’s hope not.
What the shit, Santa? A Scout dog? Seriously? This wasn’t on my list. I thought we were on the same page here. Take it away. Christmas is ruined.
To pass the time on this complete waste of a workday, I shall now do the bunny hop all the way to the men’s room and back. See you in 45 minutes…
The stuff you see here was put here by Brian. He appreciates you taking the time to look around this busted place and hopes you come back real soon.
