December 2008
35 posts
Rod Blagojevich: mad genius →
My governor is a piece of work. I just can’t get over how oblivious he is that he thought assigning a senator on Tuesday was the right play. He’s going about his business like nothing ever happened….
Cleaning out my locker with some NFL thoughts →
The Lions finished 0-16. They’re the first NFL team in history to lose 16 games in a season. Awesome. I’m not sure how you feel about that; I’m pretty indifferent. My hatred for the Vikings and…
You don't have to worry; this is necessary →
We all know that the average prices of homes in the U.S. is dropping. A year ago, single-family homes were selling 18% higher than they are today. This is not news. But it is tough to know what that…
A conversation with Jill at the bar... →
Jill: “Oh my god you have to turn around and see this creepy guy sitting at the bar.” Brian: “The guy with the ponytail?” Jill: “No, the guy next to him.” And she was right. The guy next to…
You don't care about this, so skip it →
It’s impossible to skip something when you’re told to skip it. That’s why you’re gonna continue reading. I’ll give you a strong effort, but I can guarantee that you’ll regret going any further. …
Salary cap or suicides? A pledge for the latter →
Some time earlier in the week while I was either finishing up my Christmas shopping or shoveling my driveway for the 80th time or watching a rerun episode of Roseanne or throwing rocks at passing…
Have the hap-hap-happiest day after Christmas... →
As you head out to the mall or Target or Macy’s or any of the other places I wouldn’t want to be within 100 yards of today, remember that the person working behind that service desk isn’t making shit…
You did all that for a pinky toe? And Merry... →
I probably won’t be posting much here if at all for the rest of the week. I’m on vacation and won’t be near a computer all that much. Plus when I’m not at work, things just don’t happen to me…
Is it hot in here, or is it just me? →
Via here: NEW YORK, New York — Jeremy Piven is ending his run in Broadway’s “Speed-the-Plow,” due to a condition caused by a high mercury count, according to Variety. The “Entourage” star…
Tomaron nuestros trabajos →
About a week ago I received an unsolicited email thanking me for applying for a Spanish translator job. I rarely if ever get unsolicited email to my work account, but I figured it had to be spam…
What do Lions fans want? →
At least 2 of the people who have ever come to this site are from Michigan. So perhaps one of them can answer Joe Posnanski’s questions: Do Detroit Lions fans want their team to go 0-16? I think…
This is how my day has gone →
Oh shit, more snow on my car. Bad day. Hmm, very little traffic this morning. That’s odd. But good day. My nose is kind of stuffed up. Bad day. A full pot of coffee is waiting for me in the break…
I had no idea I worked with Abbott and Costello →
Guy 1: I bet you a dollar that I can make this shot. Guy 2: I bet you $5 that you miss it. Guy 1: Wait, so you wanna bet $6 then? Guy 2: No, just $5. Guy 1: What about the original dollar? Guy 2:…
A correction to a movie reference that I'm... →
Donald(09:52:31): I’m a little disappointed in you, after getting a plaxo update, i read your blog Donald(09:52:47): Ronald Miller doesn’t stand up to Rico Suave at then end Donald(09:52:59):…
It's the sport of kings, better than diamond rings →
Whenever I watch a MNF game, I always get a kick out of the player introductions in the beginning where each starter tells me their name and the college they went to. You hear things like: - Assante…
I'll give you the truth just as soon as I come up... →
Here is a quote from Rod Blagojevich earlier Wednesday morning: “I can’t wait to begin to tell my side of the story and to address you guys and, most importantly, the people of Illinois. That’s…
I know he murders his wives and all, but damn he's... →
Via here: Drew Peterson is engaged to a 23-year-old woman, CBS-Ch.2 is reporting this morning. His publicist has confirmed the engagement happened a few days ago, the station said. Her name has…
Perhaps the Bulls would be good if they played in... →
Have you ever stopped and wondered why every MLB field has different dimensions? Don’t answer that; it was rhetorical. Of course you’ve never stopped and wondered that. Only I stop and wonder silly…
A quip about our Prez using 2 movie references →
It took us 8 years, but we now know that George Bush has the reflexes of a cat. How did it take us so long to figure that out? He must have studied the 5 D’s from Patches: Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and…
Looking forward to Teen Witch 2 →
I sat and watched “Teen Witch” with Jill earlier tonight. I could pretty much type whatever I want here and it won’t matter, will it? There’s really no recovery from typing the words “I watched Teen…
By the time you read this, your money will be gone →
It’s late and I’m about to go to bed. But I wanted to be the first to point out that by the time we all wake up in the morning, the stock market will have already started its Friday crash. Isn’t it…
Virtual Insanity, v.2.0 →
I wonder if one of these virtual gaming companies will ever develop a virtual virtual console. Imagine yourself being behind the controller of your virtual self as he plays video games. That’d be…
Drinkability, Bing Crosby, and other Randoms →
It’s really hard to convey to someone verbally that the vacuum you’re using doesn’t work well. When taking a certification test, I’d rather bomb miserably than miss by a point or two. Poor Frank. …
The more you know, 1 Happy St-style →
I got an email forward this morning from a friend that I found interesting. It looked more like an urban legend than an actual story that happened to someone, but I got to thinking about it and I…
Strike this guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuy out →
I think I may have mentioned before that my favorite dubbing of a curse word in a movie that was playing on TBS or TNT continues to be when Roger Dorn approaches Rick Vaughn on…
So long, Gov'nor →
Let’s recap the charges against my governor Rod Handoutevich: Charge #1 He tried to sell the appointment of Barack Obama’s vacant seat in the Illinois Senate. I’m not sure the alleged extent of it,…
'Cause the mail never stops →
The US Postal Service has two mailboxes side by side on the 1st floor of my building. Each of the mailboxes has the pickup times posted on the front. The one on the left shows pickup times of 10 AM…
The backstory behind the Billy Ripken "fuck face"... →
This article is probably more interesting to me than it will be to you, but that’s only because I have this baseball card. Darren Rovell of CNBC got an interview with Billy Ripken to discuss how…
Did you actually get to see the Rod? →
Was your Governor just arrested? No? Hmm, well that means you’re not from Illinois. We arrest our governors around here. Two for our last two. Yeah that’s right.
Funky, funky Christmas →
Every year around this time, people will say things like “It just doesn’t feel like Christmas yet to me” or “I’m just not in the spirit yet”. I’m not sure what that means though….
The password is..... →
The hardest part about coming back from a long vacation is remembering how to access all of my daily programs. I’ve opened the word doc with all of my stored passwords like 5 times already. Hey…
Not so instant messenger →
So you’re having an IM conversation with someone, but you decide it’s getting late and you’re logging off. After you say your goodbye, do you wait for them to say goodbye back before you log off? I…
A conversation with Greg over Facebook chat →
Greg what does “shawty wanna thugg” mean? lil wayne’s lollipop… good song. :) Brian it either means some girl wants TO thugg or some girl wants A thugg not sure though Yes, it gets the “getting…
Great moments in customer service →
My friend Tony got an email on Monday from the Chicago Transit Authority to let him know about a rate increase: Dear Chicago Card and Chicago Card Plus Customers:This is to update you about CTA’s…
Lebron James = Forrest Gump? →
“If I was LeBron James, I would shut the hell up. I’m a big LeBron fan. He’s a stud. You gotta give him his props. I’m getting so annoyed he’s talking about what he’s going to do in two years. I…