December 2009
12 posts
Admit it, you’re asking yourself all those questions on Formspring to make it seem like people give a shit. Solid plan, Bud. I have to hand it to the creators of this thing, though. They’ve taken a concept that is so stupid and they’re running with it. Can I create the next form of social media? Hey how ‘bout this: tubfarter.com. Every time you take a bath, you videotape...
Watching Jerry Maguire on TNT. The end where Rod goes on Up Close with Roy Firestone, why did Roy look annoyed when Rod started celebrating his new contract extension? You’d think he would have been glad to have an interview subject that would have drawn some viral attention. The most unrealistic moment in an otherwise great movie.
Just a reminder to all you folks that today is the 8th anniversary of exactly 8 years ago. So be safe out there if you’re gonna celebrate. Lots of crazies.
I don’t know why I think that’s funny.
Checkout girl at Dick’s Sporting Goods: Did you find everything okay? Me: Actually no I didn’t. Checkout girl: Oh.
This poor girl said nothing else to me the whole time I stood there. I think my truthful answer flustered her. I swear I didn’t mean to. Should I have lied?
SNL's bizarre love affair with Gilly continues...
NBC Exec: We need some filler for Thursday night. Can you put together an SNL Christmas special?
Lorne Michaels: Of course. Do we need a host?
NBC Exec: Completely up to you. Don’t hire anyone though. Use a character from the show.
Lorne Michaels: Would you care if I used a character who isn’t funny who annoys the fuck out of everyone and will make people want to avoid the show at...
Conversation with a co-worker
Him: “See that’s why I like you ‘cause you always agree with me.” Me: “No I don’t.” Him: “Yes you do.”
I don’t think he understood my joke.
GPOSMT
If I had just one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a...
The first 75% of my laptop battery lasts for about 3 hours. The last 25% lasts for about 4 minutes. What’s that all about?
“It’s been two years since [Barry Bonds] played his last game, and if there was any chance he’d be back in a major-league uniform, it would have happened by now,” said Bonds’ agent Jeff Borris. “When 2008 came around, I couldn’t get him a job. When 2009 came around, I couldn’t get him a job. Now, 2010…I’d say it’s nearly impossible....