December 2011
15 posts
This New Years Eve, you have my permission to be that guy or gal at your party who screams out “FIVE MORE MINUTES!!!” at 11:55pm. So do it loud, and do it proud. Pssst, you do not have permission to yell it early for laughs like at 11 or something. That’s MY thing. And I’m not giving it up yet.
Dec 29th
4 notes
Someone distract him while I dump this
Him: Want a Coke? I’m buyin’. Me: Sure. Thanks. 1 minute later Him: Sorry, all they had was Pepsi. Me: Oh that’s ok. Thanks Man. Him: Any time. Let’s hope not.
Dec 29th
2 notes
Dec 28th
5 notes
To pass the time on this complete waste of a workday, I shall now do the bunny hop all the way to the men’s room and back. See you in 45 minutes…
Dec 22nd
2 notes
I’ve noticed that my diet recently has consisted of a bunch of shit and a multi-vitamin. I wonder how long this can continue.
Dec 22nd
4 notes
Dec 21st
4 notes
Dec 20th
5 notes
I’m still waiting for the “shit guys say” video with a guy staring expressionless at a television while his wife is asking him a question, followed by him finally looking up after about 30 seconds and saying “huh?”
Dec 19th
3 notes
Dec 14th
7 notes
Overseen in a Reply All
A: Pearl Jam tribute band Friday night in Doylestown. Who’s with me? B: Can’t. Find a better man. /tugs at my heart strings
Dec 14th
3 notes
I heard an instrumental song on the radio the other day and I want to buy it on iTunes, but I didn’t catch the artist’s name or the song title. It goes dah dah daaaaaah, dah dah dah dah daaaaaah, dah dah dah. Anybody know what I’m thinking of?
Dec 14th
2 notes
I really want to see ‘New Years Eve’ tonight. With so many A-List actors involved, I bet the performances are terrific and their characters all completely believable and developed. Who’s with me? Don’t all raise your hands at once.
Dec 9th
Dec 9th
6 notes
The day Mark Buehrle and I break up
Mark Buehrle was the first player the White Sox had on their team who was my age. I’m not counting Jon Garland because he came up and sucked at first. But in the summer of 2000, I watched Mark Buehrle’s first appearance on TV. I think it was against the Brewers. Hawk Harrelson was going on and on about how he almost always threw first pitch strike. And sure enough, he was doing it....
Dec 8th
My office has been a little relaxed with the dress code for the last few months, so I’ve been wearing jeans every day. But today there’s some important people visiting from out of town, so we were told to dress appropriately. I’m wearing some suit pants that I haven’t worn in a while, and clearly I’ve gained a few pounds, ‘cause they’re tight as shit....
Dec 6th
3 notes