1 Happy St.

Dear Stomach,

I know I had been avoiding you all day except for those 3 cups of coffee, but I think it was totally uncool of you to speak up about it on the elevator when it was just you, me, and that lady who joined us from the 5th floor. I don’t appreciate being embarrassed like that in front of strangers, and I think you totally creeped her out with that gurgling sound you made. First of all, I was on my way to get you some food. That’s why I was on the elevator in the first place. And second of all, you couldn’t have said something like 5 minutes earlier when I was at my desk all by myself? That wasn’t cool. As punishment for your behavior, I’m filling you with a bunch of garbage. A hot dog from Portillo’s, perhaps. Oh and you get no vitamins. I expect this to be our last conversation of the day. Hopefully.

Sincerely yours,
Brain