1 Happy St.

Happy Thoughts

I hate it when the bar of soap starts to near the end of its life-cycle. I never know what to do with it. Do I place it on top of the new bar of soap and hope that they fuse together? Nah, then it looks like the new bar of soap has a tumor or something and it’ll be a day or two before it looks normal again. I always end up just cleaning myself repeatedly until the little guy dissolves completely. You can bet that once my soap starts to near the end, I’m coming out of that shower really clean.

What’s the most minimal change I can make in Excel for it to ask me if I’d like to save my work before closing? It always makes me nervous when it asks me if I’d like to save my work even though I can’t remember changing anything.

Why do weathermen give us a “feels like” temperature? The “feels like” is all I need. If it’s 55 degrees out but “feels like” 40, it’s friggin’ 40. I’m not charting the weather for a science project. All I really care about is what it feels like out there.

I’d like to meet the 5th dentist who doesn’t recommend Trident after meals. I bet there’s a story there. “Oh hell no. Trident? Trident killed my father. I wouldn’t be caught dead with Trident. Like he was.”

I feel like the first 75% of my laptop battery lasts for about 3 hours, but the last 25% lasts for under 5 minutes. What’s that all about?

I really want to hate Ludacris, but all of his songs remind me of my grandma. I miss you, Grandma.

I don’t believe that anybody ever put razor blades into apples and handed them out for Halloween. For one, the police would have known immediately who was responsible. IT WAS THE CREEPY DUDE WHO WAS HANDING OUT APPLES FOR HALLOWEEN!!!!

Even when people say “no pun intended”, I still get the feeling that they intended it.

I love that Thanksgiving is in November. It gives me a full 6 months or so before I might find myself in a situation where I’ll have to take my shirt off in public. In fact, that’s what I’m thankful for; Thanksgiving taking place in a month that’s cold. I can’t wait to say that when it’s my turn as we’re going around the table saying what we’re thankful for.

Why do I consistently type “my” when I meant to type “me”? And why do I always hit send before noticing? What the hell is wrong with my?