1 Happy St.
A Backlog of Happy Thoughts

I can’t say exactly how old I was when I first realized it was “heart attack” and not “hard attack”, but I can recall who was sitting next to me in the school library when I saw it in print for the first time, and he didn’t start going to my school until 3rd grade.

It was also probably a full year or so into my WWF fandom when I finally realized his name wasn’t Hull Kogan. The lesson here? I think I may have been a moron.

If you work 1st shift at a graveyard, what would you call that?

I worked as a movie theater usher when I was a senior in high school. So now any time I see the credits roll of a movie from late 1996 or early 1997, my brain gives me a sudden urge to start sweeping up popcorn.

By the way, I can recite the last 5 minutes of every movie from that era. Talk to any movie theater usher and they’ll say the same thing. One thing I’ve learned is that this is not a gift to be shared with the world. For instance, nobody cares that you can recite the outtakes after Liar Liar. “Yeah, in your bra. Objection. OVER-ACTOR!!!” See? You didn’t need that.

I’m taking a poll to determine the best television show of all time. I fully expect the results to come down to The Wire.

I’m not even going to apologize for that last one. This is my list so it’s staying.

Seeing an email signature of a guy named Robert who puts “Bob” in parenthesis between his 1st and last names will make me laugh every time.

Next time I go on a trip, I’m packing only a kitchen sink. I like to do things in reverse.

If they remade Back to the Future today, Marty McFly would travel back in time to what, 1983? I just hope they’d remake the scene where he meets his mom’s family and he’d end up teasing his teenage uncle for only having 2 televisions.

My bookie took me to the cleaners last weekend. Which was nice. Name me another bookie who would help me run errands around town like that.

Never in my life has the question “do you want to buy a raffle ticket” meant anything other than “do you want to just give me $5 from your wallet for no reason”. And yet I always say yes.

Happy New Year, My Lovelies!!!